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Idaho, Iowa, Des Moines
Living in a society that wasn’t designed for you is an exhausting reality for many neurodivergent people. As a therapist who works with millennials with ADHD, I see firsthand the toll it takes on mental, emotional, and physical well-being. One of the most pervasive and hidden consequences of this struggle is ADHD burnout, also known as disability burnout. Similar to typical work burnout, ADHD burnout can keep you in chronic states of anxiety and depression, making you feel alone and isolated in a world that’s already overwhelming.
ADHD burnout is a series of exhaustion and burnout symptoms specific to the challenges disabled and neurodivergent people experience as they constantly navigate (and often struggle through) systems that weren’t built for them. This kind of burnout is also called disability burnout, and it isn’t limited to neurodivergence. It can impact anyone who lives with a disability, whether physical, emotional, or cognitive.
If you live with ADHD, autism, or an anxiety disorder, disability burnout often looks like a chronic sense of overwhelm and distress due to the emotional labor it takes to:
No matter the specific disability, the reality is the same: living in a world that doesn’t accommodate your needs is exhausting, frustrating, and isolating.
The roots of ADHD burnout are deeply embedded in systemic issues. Emotional labor is a big cause, because neurodivergent people face constant pressure to manage their symptoms to fit societal norms. If you have ADHD, you might not even realize how much you do this. Think: constantly over-preparing, overthinking, having to explain yourself, or masking symptoms like hyperactivity or distractibility to appear more “neurotypical.”
Microaggressions and stigma also contribute to ADHD burnout. Many ADHDers (and all kinds of people with other disabilities) have experienced insensitive comments or behaviors that invalidate and belittle their lived experiences. This can look like a teacher yelling at you to sit still, scolded by a parent for being lazy, or getting into fights with loved ones about your household doom piles.
Systemic discrimination also comprounds the impact of burnout. Lack of access to knowledgeable healthcare, employment discrimination, or financial instability caused by living in a capitalist system that values productivity over well-being are all examples.
Finally, people with disabilities can have a really hard time accessing appropriate and effective support. Many neurodivergent don’t get diagnosed, or they’re misdiagnosed. Even when properly diagnosed, being able to find good treatment and knowledgeable providers is limited by things like location, financial issues, and stigma within the healthcare industry.
ADHD burnout is similar to work-related burnout. The main difference is that the causes arise from the challenges of living with neurodivergence or another type of disability. Some signs of burnout include:
For neurodivergent individuals, burnout might look like a complete shutdown or extreme emotional responses to seemingly small tasks. People with ADHD, for instance, may find it harder to focus, while those with anxiety might experience increased panic attacks or avoidance behaviors.
Living with disability burnout is more than just feeling tired or stressed. It’s a nuanced and complex struggle that impacts every area of life. Things like genetics, personality, history of trauma, and the quality of social support in your life can intensify the impacts of disability burnout even further. For neurodivergent folks, this burnout can be extremely isolating, as the world rarely acknowledges or cares about the myriad challenges they face.
Below are some of the common struggles you might experience when living with disability or ADHD burnout:
Living with a disability or neurodivergence demands constant emotional labor. Managing symptoms, trying to explain yourself to loved ones, masking neurodivergent traits, and navigating a world that doesn’t accommodate your needs is draining and exhausting. This daily effort can make you feel emotionally numb, depleted, anxious, disconnected, or hopeless. It can also make you feel guilty and ashamed just for existing, because it feels like something is wrong with you that you always have to hide or adjust.
Chronic stress associated with disability burnout can take a toll on the body. Many individuals experience physical symptoms such as:
One of the most painful aspects of disability burnout is the deep sense of loneliness it can create. Social interaction can feel extra difficult for people with disabilities and neurodivergence because of factors like social anxiety, overwhelm with crowds or people, and difficulty picking up on certain social cues. This can make every interaction feel like work, and you might spend a lot of your time feeling unseen or uneasy around other people. Certain emotional neurodivergence symptoms, such as rejection sensitivity dysphoria and emotional dysregulation, can both pre-empt and magnify these feelings of loneliness.
Friends, family, and colleagues often misunderstand the experience of living with your particular flavor of neurodivergence. They may assume you’re lazy when really you’re experiencing overwhelm and shutdown, or they may misinterpret your desire for alone time due to sensory overstimulation as avoidance. Constant misunderstandings like this can erode relationships over time and add to an overall sense that there’s something wrong with you.
Burnout messes with your memory and can make trying to concentrate or focus on even the simplest things feel impossible. When you have ADHD or anxiety, this type of overload amplifies existing systems, turning tasks like organizing, planning, or getting through the workday into monumental challenges. Simple tasks can feel impossible when your brain is already overwhelmed with stress.
Disability burnout often leads to imposter syndrome and chronically low self-esteem. Neurodivergent people often already struggle with societal pressures to "perform" and live up to external expectations. Burnout only increases these feelings of failure.
Disability burnout can make managing anxiety feel impossible. Stress and burnout symptoms heighten anxiety levels and can cause things like panic attacks, obsessive thinking, avoidance behaviors, and a constant sense of hypervigilance. This can lead to more isolation and difficulty enjoying or engaging with daily life.
If you’re experiencing ADHD burnout, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Burnout is shitty, but neurodivergence is a strength. People with ADHD, autism, anxiety, and other misunderstood disabilities are often highly creative, adaptable, and sensitive. But these strengths are harder to access when burnout takes over. I’m here to help support you. Together, we’ll find a better relationship to your ADHD or anxiety so you can find belonging, joy, and sustainability in the world.
Learn more about my therapy services (including EMDR and talk therapy) if you’re located in Idaho, Iowa, or South Carolina. For all other locations, check out my coaching services. My coaching program offers all the same expertise, tools, and guidance as therapy in a more direct and goal-oriented approach that you can benefit from anywhere.
Reach out today to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation. Let’s start building a better future together.
Danielle is an anxiety therapist and perfectionism coach. She specializes in helping busy millennials dial down their anxiety and ADHD, so they can perform at their best. Danielle has been featured on Apartment Therapy, SparkPeople, Lifewire, and Now Art World. When Danielle isn't helping her clients, she's playing video games or spending time with her partner and step children.
Helping millennial professionals dial down anxiety and stress, so they can perform at their best.
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