ADHD Emotional Dysregulation: The Far-Reaching Impacts on Daily Life

Struggling with constant anxiety, a rollercoaster of feelings, and intense emotional whiplash? ADHD emotional dysregulation is a core symptom of the neurodevelopmental disorder, and it can be extremely impactful in daily life. It’s also one of the lesser-understood symptoms of ADHD. For many neurodivergent people, it can be a huge source of shame and misunderstanding. 

In my work with clients, I help bring awareness to how emotional dysregulation can show up in your life (even if you aren’t aware of it), and ways you can help manage all the big feels. 

The Truth About Emotional Dysregulation and ADHD

Your ADHD brain is wired to feel everything on a massive scale. Add in other personality traits such as sensitivity or other mental health disorders like autism or depression, and you may feel constantly overwhelmed by too many emotions. You might:

• Get angry or moody more often
• Have outbursts that end up impacting relationships with loved ones or partners
• Have difficulty “turning off” responses like fight or flight, overwhelm, or anxiety
• Have an outsized reaction (like extreme sadness or anger) to relatively small inconveniences or setbacks
• Experience out-of-control emotional responses
• Feel more sensitive than your peers or loved one
• Struggle to calm down after getting upset
• Make hasty decisions based on short-term emotional responses (such as binge eating, impulse buying, or scrolling social media)
• Experience sensory overload (such as in loud environments or crowds) 
• Feel exhausted by all the constant ups and downs

If you’re like many of my clients, you may feel shame around navigating so much emotional turmoil. But these challenges are the result of neurological differences, not personal deficiencies. You aren’t weak or wrong or bad, and neither is your brain. You’re simply wired to feel all the things more intensely. 

ADHD Emotional Dysregulation in Everyday Life 

Aside from the emotional symptoms, ADHD emotional dysregulation can have surprising and profound impacts on your everyday relationships and mental health. Here are some ways it can show up in your life that you might not have expected.

• An increase in anxiety. When you’re constantly struggling to regulate your runaway emotional responses, it tends to lead to more anxiety. You might notice this in intensified anxious attachment styles in your relationships, problems with communication, and tension. This might show up at work, with your loved ones, and even in your relationship with yourself.
• Imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome tells you you’re unworthy of your accomplishments. It keeps you on the hamster wheel of never feeling good enough, productive enough, or capable enough. You always feel like you should be doing more, because how else can you prove yourself to the world?
• Rejection sensitive dysphoria (aka ADHD emotional sensitivity). Rejection sensitive dysphoria, or RSD, is severe emotional pain in response to real or perceived rejection or criticism. It involves lots of negative self-talk and can feel shameful and overwhelming. RSD may prevent you from asking for what you want, communicating assertively with others, or trying something you aren’t very good at out of fear of rejection and abandonment.
• Emotional hyperarousal. Ever wondered why you can go from elation to depression in about 60 seconds? As an ADHDer, you’re more likely to experience higher highs and lower lows. This can be draining and affect overall energy levels and daily functioning. It may also lead to things like substance abuse to dial down the emotional intensity. 

Brain Regions Involved in ADHD Emotional Dysregulation

Wondering why emotional dysregulation is so common among ADHDers?

It’s long been known that differences in brain structure are largely responsible for ADHD emotional dysregulation. Namely, many regions of the brain that regulate emotion and reward are thinner, smaller, or contain weaker connections in ADHD vs neurotypical brains. However, smaller isn’t the same as worse– it just means there’s different functioning occurring. This size difference and weakness in connection between brain regions is partly why emotions come on so quickly and feel so intense.

Impacted regions of the ADHD brain include:

Amygdala: The amygdala is the brain region that’s largely responsible for processing emotion. When you become distressed or upset, the amygdala sends a message to the cerebral cortex, which in turn regulates the emotional response. Studies have found the ADHD amygdala to be smaller than neurotypical amygdalas, and the connection between the amygdala and the cerebral cortex weaker.

Prefrontal Cortex (PFC): The PFC helps regulate executive functioning. This includes self-control, planning, and decision-making, among other things. In ADHD individuals, studies show the PFC to be thinner, weaker, or otherwise structurally different than in neurotypical individuals. 

Hippocampus: The hippocampus is involved in memory formation and emotional regulation. Impairments here can affect how emotions are processed and remembered.

Basal Ganglia: The basal ganglia (including Nucleus Accumbens, Putamen, and Caudate Nucleus) help regulate motor control, emotional control, and reward processing. Abnormalities in this area can inhibit dopamine levels, impact motivation, and impair regulation of emotional responses.

Support For ADHD Emotional Dysregulation

I know how shitty and isolating it feels to deal with constant emotional dysregulation. But an ADHD diagnosis doesn’t doom you to dealing with amplified stress and anxiety forever. Luckily, the brain is adaptable. Just like differences in brain structure cause differences in function, the way you behave can also change your brain. Becoming more self-aware, learning new skills, and practicing different habits can all help you dial down emotional dysregulation. 

If you want support, consider specialized therapy or coaching. As a seasoned ADHD therapist and coach, I understand what you’re going through – and I have years of experience helping clients get unstuck from cycles of stressful ADHD symptoms. I work with people just like you to dial down anxiety and learn to feel more balanced in work and life. 

Together, we can set goals, get to the root of your challenges, and learn different approaches to big problems. You deserve to live a life that works for you. I’m here to help you get there.

Learn more about my therapy services (including EMDR and talk therapy) if you’re located in Idaho or Iowa. For all other locations, check out my coaching services. My coaching program offers all the same expertise, tools, and guidance as therapy in a more direct and goal-oriented approach that you can benefit from anywhere. 

I offer free, no-obligation consultations to see if we’re a good fit. Reach out today to schedule one. Let’s start building a better future together.