How a Scam Reminded Me of Our Vulnerability

I would like to think that I’m a smart cookie. I’m part of a generation where I grew up hearing about all kinds of scams. From internet scams to phone scams, I’ve heard all kinds of stories about Nigerian princes’ emails to IRS phone calls.  So I thought that I was armed with enough knowledge that I was basically safe from something that I would willingly engage in.  

But I was almost scammed, and it was so convincing that it’s really scary.

Scammers have really stepped up their game. They no longer only target more vulnerable populations. Scammers also target a more educated population and those of us in more specialized fields.

After meeting with a client I was called by my local police department. When I answered the phone (as one does when called by the police), I was informed that I had missed a court date, where I was supposed to be an expert witness. The officer at the other end of the phone line called my personal cell phone. He gave me a specific date and time that I was supposed to have been at court. He also gave me a specific date and time that I was supposedly served a subpoena. He also listed my personal home address as the place that two officers supposedly served me this subpoena, and that they had a signature to verify this.

I argued with this officer, because this just wasn’t true. I hadn’t signed for a subpoena and hadn’t been served with one. So why was I being charged with misdemeanors for missing court when I didn’t know that this even existed.

I asked for details about what case this was, but the officer told me that because of the classified nature of the case, he couldn’t disclose this to me.

The officer hit me with a lot of information about some sort of procedure, that I tuned out.  The short version was that I had to stay on the line with him while I essentially got some form of bail funding.  

He told me that this would cost me $2,000.

This is essentially an arrest warrant scam. What happens with this scam is that you are told that there is a warrant out for your arrest. But if you pay the scammer money, the warrant disappears.

It works because it’s very scary.  It’s terrifying to hear this kind of information, and that’s essentially how they start the phone call. So once the fear kicks in, you stop thinking logically about some of the rest of the details about the conversation.

These men sounded like police officers. They spoke with authority and had local accents. They also spoofed the local police department phone numbers.

I think that one of the scariest parts about this scam is that these men did their research. They knew my personal cell phone number and home address. These scammers also knew that I’m a therapist, because they contacted me through Psychology Today when I hung up on them.  

In case you’re wondering, they didn’t get any money from me. My logical thoughts were starting to kick in and doubt several things that I’d been hearing but once I heard that I was paying for this with an “electronic money transfer” from “any local grocery store,” I knew exactly what I was dealing with.

But this whole situation was draining and exhausting. It’s so tempting to just pretend that it never happened, and I would love to hide my shame. Because I do feel some shame that I let the scammers talk to me for as long as they did. But I don’t want to hide from this.

If there’s one thing that this experience has reminded me about, it’s that everyone can be vulnerable. I think that it’s so easy to think that we’re above something. Or that we’re too smart, too good, or too successful for something bad to happen to us. But we all have our vulnerable parts.  

And that’s okay. It’s okay that we’re vulnerable.

Because the alternative is basically hiding our vulnerability away from the world.  That’s how we make sure that we don’t feel those emotions like shame or guilt or fear.  But the problem with shutting away our vulnerabilities away, is that we can’t pick and choose what goes with it.  It’s a sort of all or nothing kind of package.  Either all of our emotions get locked away or none of them.

So if we protect ourselves from the world too much, we’re also shutting ourselves off from the good things that the world can offer, including happiness and joy and love.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I would rather be slightly vulnerable to scammers and feel happier. So I want to own that vulnerability.