The Impact of ADHD Impulsivity: Strategies for Coping and Thriving

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that significantly influences daily life. Impulsivity, a hallmark symptom of ADHD, can be particularly challenging to manage. While everyone's experiences and symptoms vary, difficulties with impulsivity and self-control can wreak havoc at work, home, and in relationships.

As an ADHD therapist and coach, I've worked with many clients who struggle to regulate their attention, emotions, and behaviors due to their brains' unique functioning. Understanding how ADHD impacts your behaviors and choices is the first step toward finding effective coping strategies and dialing down your stress. 

The Challenges of ADHD and Impulsivity

If you live with ADHD, you probably already know how incredibly challenging it can be to stay focused, avoid impulsive decisions, and maintain routines. The effects of these struggles are often more widespread than people realize. Many of my clients describe their daily lives as an ongoing battle, just trying to manage productivity and maintain their mental health feeling like epic feats.

The stress and strain from feeling persistently impulsive and undisciplined can be deeply painful. So let’s talk about some of the most common ways impulsivity can show up in your life and how to begin addressing these issues today.  

ADHD Impulsivity in Everyday Life

Impulsivity is a defining characteristic of ADHD and can manifest in various ways. It refers to acting on urges without fully considering the consequences. If you’ve ever thought something was a brilliant and fail-proof idea in the moment, only to later wonder, “what in the world was I thinking?!” you can relate. Our ADHD brains have a tough time rationalizing our urges, causing us to go for it now and wince about it later. Impulsivity can be particularly challenging in everyday life, as rash behaviors can disrupt routines, strain relationships, and create additional stress and self-esteem woes.

Some of the most common impulsivity ADHD examples I see include the following:

Talking Out of Turn 

Some people with ADHD tend to talk too much or interrupt others during conversations. Others blurt out things they later regret because they felt strongly about it in the moment. For example, maybe you have a difficult time regulating your emotions and have angry outbursts at your friends, loved ones, or that stranger who cut you off in traffic. Or you might find yourself frequently cutting off colleagues during meetings, unable to wait for your turn to speak. This can be due to a rapid flow of thoughts, fear of forgetting what you want to say, or even social anxiety. In social settings, this can lead to awkward moments or misunderstandings, as the person may come across as rude or inattentive to others' contributions. 

In therapy, we often work on techniques like mindfulness, pausing, and active listening to help manage these impulses and reduce anxiety in social settings. Practicing patience and awareness of others' cues can help create more balanced and authentic interactions.

Impulse Spending

Impulse spending is another common challenge for individuals with ADHD. This behavior can range from buying items on a whim, like new clothing or jewelry, to making significant purchases without proper consideration. For instance, a client might purchase an expensive item during a sale, convinced that it's a great deal, only to realize later that it was actually unnecessary and it strained their budget.

Impulse spending and difficulty sticking to a budget are huge sources of stress for many people with ADHD. Let’s face it – who wants to spend all that time on boring budgeting when you can press a button on the internet and get an instant dopamine hit instead? Financial management can not only feel impossible, but can lead to added layers of anxiety and shame in your life. 

Try exploring strategies such as setting clear financial goals, creating budgets, and implementing waiting periods before making purchases. No, these techniques aren’t sexy. Yes, they require taking the time and energy to build new habits, which isn’t easy for neurodivergents. Most ADHDers think about budgeting practices as a restrictive pain in the ass. However, they also grant you the freedom to make financial choices that feel good. Just a few small changes in your financial routines can make a giant difference. Once you have a (relatively simple) financial plan in place, it can help you become more mindful of your spending habits and tone down a ton of anxiety. 

Eating Habits

Impulsivity can extend to other areas, such as eating habits. If you’re like many of my clients, you might struggle with binge eating or making unhealthy food choices, especially when feeling stressed, bored, or overwhelmed. The ADHD brain’s desire for dopamine plays a big role here, because things high in fat and sugar kick off our body’s reward response. Who among us hasn’t reached impulsively for something we wanted in that moment, even though we knew we wouldn’t feel great about it later? Or ordered takeout for the fourth time in as many days because the thought of cooking after a long day just sounds too hard?

Our eating habits are just one piece of the puzzle of our overall health, but they can significantly contribute to added stress, health issues, and nervous system dysregulation. So what can you do? Start with building up stress management techniques first. If you automatically reach for a sugary snack when you’re overwhelmed to calm your nervous system down, develop a bigger repertoire of healthy coping mechanisms. Practice taking a few deep breaths, shaking your body out, or texting a friend. Therapy can help you gain tools for regulating your emotions and nervous system without bingeing. 

What To Do About ADHD Impulsivity

Most of my clients notice they’re more impulsive when they’re stressed, bored, anxious, or lonely. Acting on impulse can temporarily relieve an uncomfortable emotion or sense of stress. Therefore, one way to overcome ADHD impulsivity is to figure out whether there’s an underlying unmet need beneath the urgency. While ADHD brain functioning increases impulsivity on its own, you likely also have some unconscious or uncomfortable needs that impulsive behaviors help meet in the short term.

To do this, first practice noticing when the initial urge – whatever it is – presents itself in your mind. You don’t need to change it or “fix” it; just notice what it feels like. Get comfortable with the physical sensation of urgency, and then practice feeling it for a few seconds without acting on it. 

Next, think about one area in your life that feels strained by impulsivity. Is it spending money? Social situations? Maybe it’s something like substance use or risky choices that put you or your body in danger.

Then take some time to think about when you typically indulge in that urge. Is it when you’re worried? Bored? Anxious? Angry? Dysregulated? By understanding what your mental state is when you’re most likely to be impulsive, you can gain further insight into what you’re really craving in those moments.

For example, maybe you’re bored and work from home and use food to help you get through the day. In this case, boredom and lack of structure or lack of stimulation might be the underlying unmet needs. Or maybe your unmet need is connection, but you live alone and don’t have close friends. So instead of reaching out to people, you buy things online or scroll social media for hours to numb the feeling of loneliness.

Finally, brainstorm how can you help yourself meet your needs in a different, nonimpulsive way. Can you take yourself to a coffee shop during work hours to stimulate your brain and be around other people? Or maybe you can join some meetup groups for people your age and make new friends so you’re less lonely.

Obviously, things like loneliness or anxiety don’t simply vanish overnight. But by taking baby steps toward acknowledging and feeling your emotions, rather than avoiding them, you can take the power away from impulsivity and make decisions that feel more aligned with your own values.

Support For Impulsivity and ADHD

I’ll be the first to say there’s no quick or easy fix for impulsivity. You aren’t wrong or bad for being more impulsive than your neurotypical friends and peers – your brain works differently, and that’s okay. But impulsivity isn’t something you have to be saddled with forever. You can build awareness and skills to recognize rash urges and redirect your focus. It takes practice, effort, and patience to make these changes. It won’t be perfect, and that’s fine. Take your time, and take comfort in knowing that small changes and reframes can add up to big mental health improvements. 

If you want support in this process, I’m here to help. I offer individualized ADHD therapy and coaching to help neurodivergent people get unstuck from cycles of anxiety and ADHD symptoms.

Together, we can set goals, get to the root of your challenges, and find approaches to overcome the obstacles you face. Better balance and less anxiety is possible for you. 

Learn more about my therapy services (including EMDR and talk therapy) if you’re located in Idaho or Iowa. For all other locations, check out my coaching services. My coaching program offers all the same expertise, tools, and guidance as therapy in a more direct and goal-oriented approach that you can benefit from anywhere. 

Reach out today to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation. Let’s start building a better future together. 

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