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Idaho, Iowa, Des Moines
Transitions can be tough for everyone, but if you live as a highly sensitive person (HSP), have ADHD, or experience other types of neurodivergence, they can feel downright impossible. When even the smallest shift in routine or environment feels overwhelming, it can lead to frustration and complications. Understanding why transitions are so challenging for people with neurodivergence can help you navigate them with more ease and self-compassion.
Recently, I was talking with a client who returned from visiting family over the holidays and spent several days after her trip days feeling sad, off, and anxious. She’d been somewhat anxious while she was away, in part because she didn’t have access to her regular routine, and also because spending so much time with family and having relatively little alone time left her feeling quite overstimulated. She didn’t understand why she was feeling so rough when she finally got back home. Shouldn’t she have felt better, not worse?
Her experience is actually a really common and vivid example of how neurodivergence shapes the way we process transitions. People with ADHD, high sensitivity, anxiety, or emotional dysregulation may find these shifts significantly harder to navigate. These four key areas often co-exist across neurodivergence, and make transitions really tough. Let’s take a look at each.
For people with ADHD, transitions often highlight challenges with executive functioning – the brain's "manager" responsible for planning, remembering, organizing, and adapting. Moving from one activity or environment to another can feel like an abrupt, jarring shift. It’s more like slamming on the brakes and making a hard U-turn than smoothly changing lanes.
ADHD brains are also naturally wired for heightened emotional and physiological reactivity. This reactivity can turn daily transitions into emotionally charged experiences. Thoughts can spiral quickly, particularly when routine is disrupted, adding to the challenge of settling back into a sense of balance.
Highly sensitive people (HSPs) experience heightened sensitivity to emotions, sensory input, and environmental changes. For HSPs, transitions are not just logistical. They are also deeply emotional. Shifting from one environment, routine, task, or set of expectations to another can feel like being caught in a tidal wave of stimuli, overwhelming an already extremely attuned nervous system.
Even small transitions, such as winding down for bed or reentering the house after a busy day, can evoke disproportionate emotional responses. The depth and breadth of processing that defines high sensitivity means transitions are not only felt more deeply but also take longer to recover from.
When high sensitivity overlaps with ADHD, these challenges intensify. The constant bombardment of stimuli and emotions can create a double layer of overwhelm, often leading to anxiety or shame spirals that compound the difficulty.
Anxiety often accompanies transitions, amplifying the stress of change. When you have neurodivergence, anxiety can stem from a fear of uncertainty, overstimulation, or the anticipation of challenges tied to adjusting to something new. This emotional load can put you into full fight-or-flight mode just because you’ve returned from the grocery store.
When anxiety spirals during transitions, it often intersects with other neurodivergent traits. For instance, HSPs may feel hyper-aware of every subtle shift, while ADHD brains may latch onto worst-case scenarios, fueling a cycle of worry and overwhelm.
Emotional dysregulation is at the heart of the neurodivergent transition struggle. For many neurodivergent people, the feelings triggered by change – frustration, sadness, or fear – can seem disproportionate to the situation.
This emotional intensity often creates a sense of being stuck, anxious, or resistant during transitions. Even a minor shift can evoke big emotions, which, without effective coping strategies, may spiral into shame, anxiety, or avoidance. The result? Transitions can feel like an insurmountable hurdle.
If you relate to struggling with emotional dysregulation after even small transitions, you’re not alone. Here are some common transitions that can feel really challenging on a daily basis:
Routine isn’t just about habit, it’s a way of creating predictability and safety in an unpredictable world. For neurodivergent brains, routines reduce the cognitive load of decision-making, allowing for more mental energy to focus on other things. For HSPs, routines provide a buffer against overstimulation by limiting the number of new variables encountered daily. Routines can decrease anxiety, give you a sense of control, and keep you from spinning out in an oven overwhelming world.
However, routines obviously aren’t always going to stay perfectly stable. When they get interrupted – by trips, transitions, or other changes – the resulting unpredictability can send both ADHD and HSP brains into anxious overdrive. This is why even seemingly small changes, like a meeting being rescheduled, can feel disproportionately stressful.
Understanding why transitions are difficult is only part of the solution. Here are some strategies to make them more manageable:
For larger transitions, like moving or starting a new job, give yourself ample time to plan and process. Create lists, timelines, and step-by-step guides to break the change into smaller, more manageable pieces.
Develop routines that help you bridge the gap between activities. For example, a short walk, a grounding practice (like a few deep breaths or the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise), or a favorite playlist can serve as a small mental reset between work and home life. For bigger transitions, like returning from a trip, plan a day or two of downtime afterward. Take time off work if you can, minimize additional stimulating activities, and plan some self-care activities that you can do when the emotional dysregulation bubbles up.
Limit unnecessary transitions when possible. If you’re an HSP or have ADHD, saying "no" to certain commitments can help you conserve energy and reduce overwhelm. This doesn’t mean you should shrink your life down or make a habit to avoid activities you think might be taxing. However, you can be choosier about what you spend your energy on. Take into account your current levels of stimulation, tiredness, and anxiety.
Transitions are hard. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Remind yourself that it’s normal to need extra down time, space, or support during periods of change.
Talking to a therapist or coach can provide valuable strategies for managing transitions. They can also help you explore underlying emotional responses and build your reservoirs of resilience, self-compassion, and emotional regulation.
Your sensitivity and neurodivergence are strengths. You likely excel in fields requiring creativity, empathy, and nuanced, thoughtful decision-making. You notice details where others don’t, and you feel the world on a different plane than most.
However, our world isn’t designed for neurodivergent people. We have to pave our own paths. This is okay, but it can feel lonely and hard. I’m here to help that journey feel a little smoother.
ADHD therapy and coaching with me can help you learn how to embrace all your parts, even the ones that feel too sensitive and too stressful. By creating supportive routines, setting boundaries, and leaning into your strengths, you can navigate change in a way that honors your needs.
Learn more about my therapy services (including EMDR and talk therapy) if you’re located in Idaho, Iowa, or South Carolina. For all other locations, check out my coaching services. My coaching program offers all the same expertise, tools, and guidance as therapy in a more direct and goal-oriented approach that you can benefit from anywhere.
Remember, the world might feel like too much all at once sometimes, but your sensitivity is also what allows you to see beauty, nuance, and possibility where others might not. And that’s a gift worth celebrating.
Danielle is an anxiety therapist and perfectionism coach. She specializes in helping busy millennials dial down their anxiety and ADHD, so they can perform at their best. Danielle has been featured on Apartment Therapy, SparkPeople, Lifewire, and Now Art World. When Danielle isn't helping her clients, she's playing video games or spending time with her partner and step children.
Helping millennial professionals dial down anxiety and stress, so they can perform at their best.
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