Stuck in the Loop: Overgeneralization and All-or-Nothing Thinking

In this series of posts, we’re talking about thinking about common cognitive distortions (also known as thinking traps) that are often exacerbated by anxiety and ADHD. In the first post, we talked about how your brain can blow things out of proportion using catastrophizing and magnification. 

Let’s get into two more sneaky thinking traps: overgeneralization and all-or-nothing thinking. If you have ADHD, anxiety, or both, these thinking traps are probably regular guests at your mental dinner party. You know: the ones that spill their drinks on the couch, eat all the best appetizers, and leave a chaotic mess when they leave.

These distortions also love to team up, creating a double whammy of stress. Overgeneralization blows one bad moment out of proportion into a life-defining failure, and all-or-nothing thinking causes you to think in extremes, leaving you unable to find middle ground. It’s exhausting, but there’s good news. Once you understand them, you can fight back.

ADHD Thinking Trap: What Are Overgeneralization and All-or-Nothing Thinking?

Overgeneralization takes one isolated event and turns it into a “rule” for your entire life. Essentially, you’re using one tidbit of information to blow everything else out of proportion in an often self-berating and negative way. This can sound like:

• “My boss asked me to make some work changes. I’m a failure and I’m bad at my job.”
• “I forgot my friend’s birthday. I’m a terrible friend.”
• "I tried a new routine for a week and gave up. I’ll never be consistent with anything in my life."
• "I sent a text that they didn’t respond to quickly. No one likes me and I suck at making friends."

Notice how this thinking trap causes you to snowball into assuming you’re terrible and that something is deeply wrong with you. 

All-or-nothing thinking (a.k.a. black-and-white thinking) decides everything is either perfect or a total disaster. There’s no room for nuance or middle ground. This is an extremely common one for perfectionists and people with anxiety. 

Here are some examples of what all-or-nothing thinking might sound like:

• “I didn’t finish my to-do list for the week, so I’m a failure and I suck at my job.”
• "I didn’t stick to my workout plan today, so I might as well quit entirely."
• “If I can’t get this done perfectly, I might as well not even try.”
• "If I don’t keep my house sparkling clean, it’s a pigsty and I’m a failure.”

This thinking trap often tells you you’re a failure for not living up to internalized expectations. It’s accompanied by low feelings of self-worth, and it’s usually difficult to detect.

ADHD, Black-and-White Thinking, and Overgeneralization

The classic ADHD challenges with emotional regulation, impulsivity, and working memory create fertile ground for cognitive distortions to take root. Meanwhile, anxiety adds a layer of hypervigilance, constantly scanning for threats or mistakes, which reinforces those distorted thought patterns. A single negative event – like getting critical feedback at work – can feel like the only thing that matters because your brain keeps replaying it on a loop. 

Combine that with a natural tendency to focus on extremes, and suddenly you’re convinced that one bad day or situation means you’re doomed forever. ADHD makes it difficult to zoom out and see the bigger picture, so you’re left spiraling in shame and frustration.

Plus, neurodivergent people can struggle with rejection sensitivity dysphoria. This is the tendency to project fears of rejection and criticism into every interaction or situation. It can make you spiral with self-loathing and panic when you perceive someone might be even minorly upset with you. 

How to Cope With ADHD Thought Distortions

The first step in breaking these traps is noticing them. Here’s how to start:

1. Call Out the Extremes
When you catch yourself using language like always, never, every, or none, pause. Ask yourself:

• Is this actually true?
• Can I think of one time when this wasn’t the case?

For example: “I always mess up at work.” Okay, but do you really? What about the project you finished on time last week? Or the time your boss complimented your creative idea?

2. Look for the Middle Ground
All-or-nothing thinking erases life’s gray areas. Your brain is used to jumping to extremes, so paying attention to the middle ground is much easier said than done. It takes a lot of practice and intention, so try to hold compassion for yourself in this process.

Try this: 

• Instead of “I didn’t finish my to-do list, so I’m a failure,” try, “I didn’t finish everything, but I got three important tasks done. That’s progress.”
• Instead of “I flaked on plans, so I’m a terrible friend,” reframe it as, “I needed to prioritize my mental health, and I can reschedule with my friend soon.”

3. Rewrite the Story
Overgeneralization thrives on negative narratives. Flip the script by focusing on what you can control:

• Instead of “I bombed that presentation, so I’ll never be good at public speaking,” try, “That presentation didn’t go well, but I can learn from it and do better next time.”
• If you find yourself thinking in black-and-white terms about your relationships, try to reframe the story you're telling yourself. For instance, if a friend or partner doesn’t text you back right away, instead of assuming they’re upset with you or don’t care, consider other possibilities: they might be busy, distracted, or not have seen your message yet. Similarly, if you’ve had an argument, try to avoid labeling the entire relationship as bad or doomed. Instead, ask yourself: Could this be a temporary conflict that you can work through together?

4. Celebrate the Small Wins
ADHD brains need positive reinforcement, so celebrate progress instead of perfection. Didn’t finish the workout but made it to the gym? Hell yes. Got halfway through the laundry pile? Amazing. Stopped yourself after only an hour of doomscrolling, rather than 7 hours in? That’s great. These small victories add up.

Therapy Can Help You Overcome ADHD Black-and-White Thinking and Overgeneralization

By practicing self-awareness and reframing your thoughts, you can start breaking out of these traps. You can reduce the power they have over you. And while the anxiety and tendency toward having these thoughts may never go away, you can stop listening to them over time. If you need some extra support, therapy is a great place to figure out why your brain pulls these stunts – and how to cope with balance and perspective.

I offer anxiety and ADHD therapy (including EMDR and talk therapy) and coaching services so you can get the support you need no matter where you live. 

In the next blog, where I’ll go over mind-reading and fortune-telling. Spoiler alert: your brain isn’t actually psychic.