The 3 Most Destructive Symptoms of Inattentive ADHD

Inattentive-type ADHD gets much less hype than its counterpart, hyperactive-impulsive ADHD. This is due in part to inaccurate biases and stereotypes about what ADHD looks like. As a result, people with symptoms that present as primarily inattentive are more likely to be misdiagnosed or undiagnosed. 

Distractibility, memory issues, and procrastination are three common inattentive ADHD symptoms that are often passed off as character flaws or spaciness. If you don’t get the support you need to navigate and manage these symptoms, they can wreak havoc in your life, leading to damage in your career, relationships, and self-esteem. But they aren’t a sign there’s something inherently wrong with you. They’re simply pieces of a larger puzzle, and they’re worth understanding. 

Disparities in Inattentive ADHD Diagnoses

Distraction, procrastination, and memory issues are three primary symptoms of inattentive or combined-type ADHD. However, these symptoms – and inattentive ADHD in general – are more likely to fly under the radar than symptoms like hyperactivity, excessive talking, and fidgeting. This is in part because ADHD has long been thought to be a boy’s issue. This isn’t true– ADHD doesn’t discriminate by gender. However, boys with ADHD are more likely than girls to display hyperactive-impulsive symptoms when they’re school-aged. Teachers and parents notice it because it impacts other peers in the classroom. Those boys are then more likely to get the ADHD treatment they need.

Many of my clients without hyperactive-impulsive ADHD – or who masked those symptoms – didn’t receive the support they needed when they were young. Instead, they assumed their struggles signified character flaws, such as laziness or spaciness. 

Internalizing these symptoms doesn’t help anyone overcome them. Instead, it often leads to:

• Mental health issues like shame, depression, or anxiety
• Development of coping mechanisms like perfectionism and people-pleasing
• Inability to maintain a career or important relationships

Symptoms of Inattentive ADHD 

Do you struggle with any of the following?

• You start one task or project, only to get sidetracked and switch to something else in the middle.
• You worry about being lazy, or have been called lazy by others before.
• You struggle to pay attention or maintain focus, even when people are talking directly to you.
• You find it difficult to recall everyday memories, or you often lose track of your belongings.
• Keeping things organized doesn’t come naturally to you – maybe you stay organized, but it’s a result of constant effort.
• You avoid situations, environments, or people that involve a lot of mental effort;  being “on” for long periods feels extra draining.
• You’re easily overwhelmed or overstimulated, particularly by sensory things like noises or clothing textures that don’t seem to bother most other people.
• You tend to procrastinate on tasks, especially those that feel difficult, boring, or involve a lot of steps.
• You feel easily confused, particularly when it comes to following instructions.
• You process information slowly and may make mistakes (or worry about making mistakes).
• You constantly compare yourself to peers, coworkers, and loved ones, and usually conclude you’re “falling behind.”

All of the above are common symptoms of inattentive ADHD. For people who haven’t been taught that their distractibility, confusion, or procrastination are indicators of ADHD, these symptoms can be incredibly impairing. Memory issues, distractibility, and procrastination often impact self-esteem, relationships, and the ability to work and engage in everyday life. 

Inattentive ADHD Examples With Clients

Every day I meet with clients who suffered silently for years from inattentive ADHD symptoms. Many of them believe they simply aren’t good enough, because things that seem easy for everyone else aren’t easy for them. They fall into a cycle of comparison, perfectionism, and ultimately falling short of their own (and others’) misguided expectations. Unraveling those learned beliefs and behaviors in favor of more rewarding ones isn’t easy, but it is doable.

One client with a late-in-life diagnosis of combined-type ADHD was regularly berated by her family for not paying enough attention. She struggled with memory issues stemming from ADHD, but she grew up assuming she was stupid and selfish. In therapy, we helped her connect the dots between these symptoms and her assumptions about herself. By contextualizing her early experiences, she was able to unlearn old harmful ideas about her abilities, rebuild her sense of self, and create new and improved beliefs about her capacity and worth. 

Another client’s distractibility during conversations resulted in multiple strained relationships with loved ones. He couldn’t understand why his partners and family felt unseen or dismissed when he cared about them so much. He’d had an ADHD diagnosis for years but had never learned how to manage the symptoms that prevented connection. Together, we practiced active listening, good communication skills, and relationship repair skills.

Other Reasons for Distraction, Procrastination and Memory Issues

Symptoms like distractibility and procrastination are signs of ADHD. It’s normal for ADHD symptoms to intensify when you’re under a lot of stress or are experiencing big life changes such as a move, a breakup, or changing jobs. 

However, memory issues, distractibility, and procrastination aren’t only found in ADHD. These symptoms may be indicators of other mental health conditions, such as an anxiety disorder, trauma, or post-traumatic stress disorder. If your symptoms are preventing you from the life you want to live, don’t wait to get treatment. Talk to a mental health provider or therapist who understands ADHD and the symptoms you’re experiencing. No matter what you’re dealing with, help and support are available. 

Support for Inattentive ADHD

If you struggle with everyday inattentive ADHD symptoms like distractibility and procrastination, consider therapy. I’m an ADHD therapist and coach who helps neurodivergent folks find freedom from cycles of destructive anxiety and ADHD symptoms. 

Better balance at work, at home, and in your thoughts and relationships is possible. I’m here to provide gentle accountability, goal setting, and no-BS support so you can live a more aligned and empowered life. Together, we’ll find new approaches to old obstacles and overcome the challenges that keep you feeling stuck and drained.

Learn more about my therapy services (including EMDR and talk therapy) if you’re located in Idaho or Iowa. For all other locations, check out my coaching services. My coaching program offers all the same expertise, tools, and guidance as therapy in a more direct and goal-oriented approach that you can benefit from anywhere. 

‍Reach out today to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation. Let’s start building a better future together.