ADHD and Memory: Understanding Short-Term Memory Struggles and How CBT Can Help

Living with ADHD often means experiencing memory issues that impact everything from day-to-day tasks to personal relationships. For many of my therapy clients with ADHD, these struggles aren’t just about forgetting where they put their keys. Instead, memory issues plague my client’s lives, leading to emotional distress, troubles in relationships and at work, and disheartening feelings of being less-than.

While ADHD memory loss is super frustrating, it isn’t your fault. Your brain just processes information differently from neurotypical people, and I’m here to tell you there’s nothing wrong with that. There are, however, ways to minimize the impact of memory challenges in your daily life. Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), you can learn how to manage ADHD memory issues and gain more confidence in your everyday life, even when memory isn’t your strongest skill.

Does ADHD Affect Memory?

A common question people ask is, Does ADHD affect memory? The answer is yes, absolutely, and it can impact both short-term and long-term memory. ADHD memory issues often arise because the ADHD brain doesn’t always filter or retain information in the same way as neurotypical brains, especially when it comes to short-term memory. ADHD short-term memory challenges can make it difficult to perform tasks that other people seem to find simple. They can also cause important details in conversations or at work to simply vanish as soon as they appear.

Although memory loss can affect anyone with ADHD, it tends to impact individuals with inattentive-type ADHD the most. Why is ADHD memory loss so common? Some key reasons include:

1. Attention Drift
   ADHD often involves constant attention shifts, which can make it difficult to focus on one thing at a time. As a result, you’re essentially always multi-tasking– trying to focus on a conversation or task while your mind is constantly drifting elsewhere. This makes it easy to forget information or miss details.
   
   
2. Overstimulation
   Too many things going on at once leads to overwhelm, and overwhelm is a difficult state from which to remember anything. Unfortunately, people with ADHD tend to  get overwhelmed pretty easily – especially women with anxiety.
   
   
3. Interest-Based Memory Retention
   ADHD brains crave interesting and new information regularly. Neurodivergent brains are more likely to remember things that spark interest, and with ADHD, the threshold for “interesting” information is high. Repetitive or rote information may simply not trigger enough mental engagement to stay locked down in your memory. So while you may remember complex details of a fascinating hobby, everyday instructions or less-than-stimulating conversations can easily slip away.
   
   
4. Sequencing Issues
   ADHD differences in executive functioning mean that your brain doesn’t always keep track of events in order. As a result, your ability to recall steps in a task or parts of a conversation can be compromised. This lack of organization can cause details to blur, disappear, or feel scattered and incomplete.
   
   
5. Indirect factors
   Things like anxiety, sleep struggles, mood swings, and struggles at work and relationships all significantly increase stress and result in more nervous system dysregulation. Memory loss is an understandable by-product of high levels of stress and dysregulation. 

How ADHD Memory Challenges Impact Daily Life

ADHD memory challenges show up in multiple areas of life, sometimes in surprising ways. Here are some of the most common impacts I see with my clients:

Relationship Frustrations
Forgetting something a partner or friend said can create tension in relationships. ADHD memory issues may lead to misunderstandings, with loved ones feeling overlooked when details are forgotten. When ADHD short-term memory is affected, even things like remembering important pieces of conversations, key events, schedules, or requests can become a struggle. Your loved ones may feel undervalued, and you may feel like you just aren’t good enough no matter how hard you try. 

Work Struggles
When you don’t have a great memory, it can make keeping up with regular tasks and duties at work exhausting. It can also contribute to feelings of imposter syndrome, because you may feel like you’re constantly trying to hide or mask your memory loss. 

Uncertainty about the Past
People often connect memory gaps with trauma, and sometimes, clients with ADHD ask if they have repressed traumatic memories simply because they don’t remember parts of their childhood. Although trauma can certainly cause memory loss, ADHD memory issues can also lead to a foggy recollection of past events.

Lower Self-Worth
When ADHD short-term memory challenges cause a person to forget details in conversations, it has natural consequences for self-worth, confidence, and self-compassion. Many of my clients feel inadequate or self-critical because of these lapses, seeing their memory difficulties as personal failures. These feelings can be compounded by life experiences. For example, if you grew up being berated by a caretaker or teachers for “not paying enough attention,” you may have embodied the belief that you aren’t smart enough or simply must not care enough to remember things.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Tips to Help With ADHD Short Term Memory Problems

ADHD therapy – specifically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – provides practical solutions to address the ADHD memory issues that crop up in your day-to-day life. With some practical techniques and more self-compassion, it’s possible to work with your memory tendencies instead of fighting them.

Here are some ways you can address your ADHD memory issues today:

1. Use visual cues and memory aids
   A highly effective way to work with ADHD memory is to place visual reminders in key locations. This can look like keeping reminders or sticky notes somewhere you’ll see them (like your bathroom mirror or tucked in a cabinet you open frequently). You can also try setting alarms, putting events into your phone calendar, utilizing digital reminders, and other visual memory prompts.
2. Document it
   If you have time, practice summarizing and writing down key pieces of information during or after something you want to remember. For example, some of my clients keep people’s names (and the context for how they know them) in a notes app in their phone. Or you can write down specific instructions when receiving them from your boss at work, say.
3. Summarize in real time
   In conversations, try summarizing or repeating back what the other person is saying. This reinforces details and improves the chances of retaining them, reducing the chance of misunderstandings due to ADHD short-term memory issues. Even small phrases like, “So, you’re saying…” can help lock details into memory and help you stay engaged in the conversation.

One of the most important components of CBT for ADHD memory is learning to approach these challenges with compassion. It’s easy to view ADHD memory issues as flaws, but with the right support and perspective, you can learn to see them as simply a neutral part of who you are.

Therapy Can Help Your ADHD Memory Struggles

Dealing with ADHD memory and memory loss is often isolating and discouraging. But it’s possible to create structure around ADHD short-term memory limitations and build strategies that work with—not against—your mind.

I’m here to help remind you that ADHD memory challenges are not about personal failures or lack of care. They’re part of how an ADHD brain processes the world. If you’d like support, we can work together to navigate your memory struggles. We’ll create routines that keep you on track, unlearn old bullshit you were taught about your supposed shortcomings, help you better communicate your needs, and offer a safe and empowering space to embrace who you are. I promise: ADHD memory issues can become more manageable.

Learn more about my therapy services (including EMDR and talk therapy) if you’re located in Idaho, Iowa, or South Carolina. For all other locations, check out my coaching services. My coaching program offers all the same expertise, tools, and guidance as therapy in a more direct and goal-oriented approach that you can benefit from anywhere. 

Reach out today to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation. Let’s start building a better future together.